Archives for the 'Humour' Category
25 Top-40 Hits From Under the Sea [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
Sea Eeled With A Kiss
Mister Sand Dab
That’s a Moray
Clam Every Mountain
A Barracuda Beautiful
It Haddock Be You
Sturgeon, Sturgeon For My Baby
I Need Kelp
When You Fish Upon A Star
Shark! the Herald Angels Sing
Fiddler Crab On The Roof
I Loves You, Porgy
You Walrus Hurt The One You Love
Sole Train
Heart And Sole
Carp and Sole
Bernie’s Tuna
Blue Monkfish
Zing! Went [...]
5 vidéos d’improvisation hilarantes : le summum de la créativité [C'éclair!]
Dans le cadre de notre série sur la créativité, je vous propose ici quelques vidéos d’improvisation à l’humour décapant glanées sur le net.
L’improvisation est un exercice de choix pour apprendre à sortir des chemins battus et à créer des idées originales sur le vif.
Vous verrez ici à quel point ces petits moments d’inspiration suprême exaltent [...]
10 Rules for Writers [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Be more or less specific.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
[...]
If You Can… [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you [...]
New Book Releases [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
These kinds of “book titles” passed for humour when I was younger. As with any kid, we extracted loads of hilarity from jokes relating to bodily functions. We chose books titles such as:
“Rusty Bed Springs” by I.P. Knightly or
“Mad Dash to the Bathroom” by Willie Makit, illustrated by Betty Woant
In a somewhat [...]
Strict Rules for Dealing With Stray Cats [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
Stray cats will not be fed.
Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.
Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
Stray cats [...]
Fun Things to do During Boring Sermons [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
See if a yawn really is contagious.
Slap your neighbour. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.
Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
Listen for your preacher to use a word [...]
10 Things My Mother Taught Me [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
This is one of those old list jokes that predates the Internet, e-mail and office fax machines. It keeps hanging on. So, in honour of Mother’s Day:
My Mother taught me LOGIC…
“If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”
My Mother taught me MEDICINE…
“If [...]
10 Affirmations for the Permanently Crabby [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
I honour my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
I am grateful that I am not [...]
Quotes on Baldness [Ian's Messy Desk]
Posted in Friday Funny
From Ian’s bald head:
Better a bald head than no head at all. —Seamus MacManus
For lack of a better term, they’ve labelled me a sex symbol. It’s flattering and it should happen to every bald, overweight guy. —Dennis Franz
I love bald men. Just because you’ve lost your fuzz, don’t mean you ain’t a [...]