There is a positive intention motivating every behavior [How to be an Original]
There is a positive intention motivating every behavior, and a context in which every behavior has value
This is one of the many NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) presuppositions and one of the original 8 of Richard Bandler.
What does NLP mean with the presupposition?
This is the presupposition that causes the most controversy. If there is a positive intention motivating every behavior, what do you make of all the crime? How’s that positive?
The key to this presupposition is that the positive intention is for the person executing the behavior. The intention is positive in that sense that reality looks better with that certain behavior than without, or it looks better after a certain action than before.
Often you’ll find an addition to this presupposition: “…and once was someone’s best choice.” So given the choices someone had, they executed the choice that seemed the best at the time, and the positive intention to have a better reality (for that person!) was the motivation.
Why is it necessary for NLP to believe this?
Down to the core this is a very positive presupposition. It basically says that every behavior has a benefit for a person. If we can find that benefit, the positive intention, we have the information to find other ways that include that benefit and add some more (or take away some negative effects).
Instead of feeling bad about a behavior, it makes us appreciate what it has brought us. This presupposition enables us to be creative and find another, but better solution.
Can I find proof or personal experiences that support the presupposition?
If I really look into my own behavior, there’s always a benefit for me. That doesn’t mean I like my behavior… but there are benefits and stopping the behavior might take that away, and that works as a resistance to change it.
This presupposition is also ‘proven’ by the Munchausen Syndrome. This is a disorder where people fake illness to get attention or sympathy. However strange the behavior and however harmful it may be, there is a positive intention: attention or sympathy. And faking the illness gives more of it, than acting normal would. Now this is an extreme and Munchausen is a psychiatric disorder, but it kind of proves the point.
Can I find proof or personal experiences that undermine the presupposition?
Not really. It can really be hard to find the positive intention in behavior of some people, especially when they inflict damage and pain, or even worse unto others. But although something is hard to imagine, it doesn’t disprove the point.
In conclusion, how do I feel about this presupposition?
I like this one a lot. At times it’s hard to see where the positive intention is in behavior, my own or other people’s behavior. But knowing that it is done with a positive intention and has a benefit, makes me look with ‘different eyes’. I try to see the value, and when appropriate help to get the same and more in a different way that creates more value for all that are concerned.
Time for you to talk
What do you think of this presupposition? Does it make sense to you? Do you have experiences or examples that might undermine this presupposition?
Original post here: Lodewijkvdb
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